RANDOM THRIFTY GOODNESS

So I feel guilty that I haven't devoted any quality time to this blog lately. I guess it's kinda like that goldfish or hamster you begged, pleaded, and cried for when you were 7 and then when you got it (for President's Day or some other random holiday) your poor mother ended up having to feed it and clean up its poop to so it wouldn't die because you were too busy watching cartoons and were too damn lazy to do it yourself.

Not that my mother has ever cleaned up my blog's poop. Okay, so that was a terrible analogy. I am in the education industry, y'know.

Anyhow, back to my guilt (which I shall soon transfer to you). Why don't you ever update your blog, you say. Well, in addition to bringing this school semester to a mostly successful conclusion, I am half-assedly preparing for my upcoming nuptials and neck deep in boxes as I pack up all my crap (lots of references to excrement this post, sorry) and carting it all off to greener climbs two hours from here. Fear not, though, loyal thrifties (new word!) for I have it on good authority that one can still find plenty of cool thrift stores adventures in that realm. More on that later.

I will be returning to my in-depth exposé of thrift storing and scoring soon, hopefully, but I hope it's okay that for now I only just serve up some random thrifty goodness. This is sort of the thrift store experience in a nutshell, anyhoo: wander around, find something random and funny, make a wise-crack, snicker to yourself while the other customers eye you suspiciously, repeat if necessary.


My vote for the coolest version of Clue ever. I'll post the weapons sometime. Always was a Colonel Mustard-in-the-library-with-a-revolver man, how bout you?

From a leisure suit jacket lining. Not to be confused with "Fat Dudes who hang out with Hispanics," also of San Bernardino.

Heh-Heh: A Major Motion Picture. Yeah, way more major than The Devil's Rain. Still better than Star Trek V, though. By the way, William Shatner is the only man who can over-act a book cover.


Cherry Cheesecake = Beelzebub. Makes sense. Jesus hates empty calories.

Cuz I can't resists me a good picture of someone peeing on something. Also, check the clothes and drawing style. This drawing was done like 60 years before Calvin from Calvin and Hobbes was peeing on Fords and Chevys. Nothing new under the sun...

I can't resist a good decapitated figurine, either. Does he look a bit like John Edwards to you?

I wish more of my hookers could help around the house, you know, with basic carpentry and plumbing... instead of just being able to f***

Cartoon comic caption challenge! Submit your most creative, hilarious scenario. I just like the art. And the precise and controllable world that Rubber Booty Man seems lives in.

For some reason these puzzles remind me of either fireworks or those Virgin Mary votive candles you find at the 99 Cent Store. And by the way, it took me about five minutes to assemble and arrange all theses canisters in a pleasing order. It's a nervous habit from my five years working at Video Magic.

Better get some mustard on that hot dog, cuz those squiggley lines make it look like it really stinks! Kinda saucy ( I punned!) looking waitress, too. Joan Crawford or Veronica Lake? I'm getting turned on by the condiments. I'm getting turned on saying "condiments."

I wonder why the Packard Bell repair man looks so embarrassed? Probably because there's something wrong with the crappy record player he sold you. Nice of them put this repair sticker right above your turntable.

Sadie Hawkins Dance 1981. She's pretty cute. I wonder why it is then that Napoleon Dynamite's expression says he lost a bet? Maybe they're brother and sister (eww). This also kind of looks like an 80's slasher movie couple, the kids that die right after some "partial nudity" (hopefully not his). Maybe Sadie Hawkins Death? Bloody Hawkins Dance? Sadist Hawkins Dance? No?

And what would be a Thrift Store Adventures' post without a little elf in a terrarium stroking his magic wand? That is what you all come here for, right? Sickos.