Tis the season. Tis got here too damn fast if you ask me. Then again, if you're poor like me there's really no pressure to buy gifts. At least I have time to update this here pictures of junk blog. (Why does "blog" sound as dated as "groovy"?)
Lot's of great Christmas images -- I looked for Hanukkah and Kwanzaas stuff to, but I guess either the stuff doesn't end up in thrift stores (unlikely, as everything ends up in thrift stores) or the gew-gaws are just not as glaringly garishly what-the-fudge awful as Christmas falderal is.
Now thrifty Xmas exteriors are nice, rather subtle, idyllic even. Almost picture post card perfect, no?
But the closer you get, the more twinkly crap. Some of it even motorized.
Xmas stuff is ubiquitous in thrift stores all year long. It's no problem to find a Santa figurine on a hot July day in your nearest second hand store. But come Christmas time, well, as my wife says, it looks like Santa vomited candy canes all over the store.
Now, some places want to squeeze every dime they can out of their Xmas stash when the time rolls around.
Other places realize, "Sh-t, we'd better unload this crap now or it'll sit here until next July."
Plenty of great gift ideas, beyond the Christmas schwag. Like the world's ugliest lamp. Plenty of world's ugliest lamps if you poke around.
World's most awfully patriotic sweater? You know, f-ck the terrorists. If I have to wear this sweater, the terrorists have won. Perfect gift for a certain presidential candidate from NY, though, huh?
Here's the perfect gift for my wife. I wonder what state fair this was gleaned from? Damn, that's one sexy mustachioed Magnum. Only "69" cents -- heh, heh.
Course, if I only gave her some 80's glass stud, this would probably be my gift. I have to say that Bryant Gumble is rocking that man muu-muu. I bet that mug is full of whiskey or Goldschlager. Why else would he be out on the roof in a dress?
How about an army of plastic wrapped angels? Kind of reminds me of one of those CGI shots of stormtroopers from the last Star Wars epic.
Here's a great gift idea. "Doll Baby" -aka- "Disembodied head of a Cabbage Patch Kid-ripoff in a box." Just imagine the squeals of joy (or screams of sheer terror) of the little girl (or boy) unwrapping this on Christmas morning. Either way, it'd be fun. Tee-hee.
Normally, one creepy doll picture per post is enough. But I can't pass up a trio of doll coffins. Complete with racing stripe!
There's always the gift of music. Or in this case, crappy 70s pop that accidentally gets played on AM radio from time to time. Gosh, someone just never got around to unwrapping their gift from 1975, these John Denver and Perry Como 8-tracks. Let's hope they stay that way.
How about one, lonely, Charlie Brown mitten? Almost as sad as that pitiful little tree of his.
Why not purchase this horrible puking/ spitting cat lotion pump? The less said about this the better.
Nothing quite says crappy Christmas gift like crappy home made clothing. I would say it's an 80s flashback, but who wore this stuff? Silk Flower Sweats sounds like a tropical disease.
I don't know what's more wrong, the sweatshirt or the male model they chose for the cover. It's true, she's a he. Let me just zoom in a bit and you'll see...
See, if you look closely enough you can make out the adam's apple is just slightly big. It's a man, baby!
You could also go with some of the more familiar holiday related baubles. It's nice to see the nutcracker family branching out of the military profession. Is there a Dr. Nutcracker in the house?
Or you could spend the rest of your life unraveling these Christmas lights. Aren't these things like 99 cents a strand at Walgreens?
By the by, that Jack-O-Lantern was perched up on mount fire hazard before I got there, and then suddenly totally pitched forward the moment I took the picture. I could have been killed. Haunted thrift store. True story.
How about bucking tradition and going home with the relatively new mascot, Buster the Christmas Penguin? Nice of Goodwill to give us their suggested in-home display, huh?
Now, I love A Christmas Story and in general I have a soft spot for bobble heads as well. But, sorry, Ralphie makes one horrible bobble. Messy Marvin, on the other hand, would make one fantastic bobble.
But let's get back to basics. Creepy-ass Santas-a-plenty. Like this slightly suspicious St Nick.
He's got shifty eyes, I tell ya.
Or you could go with my most favoritest sad Santa evar. He looks like he's about to be crushed.
But don't you be crushed (nice seg-way, huh?), for Thrift Store Adventures will return in the New Year. Thanks for all of you who have visited, and left comments. There were 25 posts this year. Let's hope 2008 brings at least 26.