So another year in thrifting comes to a close. And while it was swell in many regards, there were a lot of things I just never got around to accomplishing. Because I've been horsing around like a circus boy on the Mississippi (that's an expression, right?), my posts to this blog have kind of slackened in the past few months.
Well, now's as good a time as any I assume to lay out some resolutions for the coming year:
Next year, i resolve to make some new friends. Preferably snappy dressers with plates of food.
I will travel as much as possible and see more people. And awesome bridges too, while I'm at it.
I will bear in mind that violets grow in secret places. Which I believe is a reference to thrift store mining. That or runaway prostitution. (Looks like she's at a thrift store to me, though.)
I will definitely turn down into up. And I'll start by tying all my sweaters around my neck instead of wearing them normally. Then I will seek out the see-saw.
I resolve to read more trashy novels. How about this: Marcus Welby, MD, hit TV shows, love in crisis, acid... it all floats my boat.
I promise to pay closer attention to the around me. And then read them like a book. And con them out of their life savings. Well, maybe not the last part so much, but watch yourself just the same.
I plan to tell 1000 giant jokes, gags, and cartoons.
And most of my jokes will involve women being peed on at 50s costume parties.
I resolve to learn the secret language of wolf dogs of the north, so that I might better understand my dog's sometimes strange behavior. It probably just his inner wolf coming out.
I also resolve to learn more about monkeys. And then regale complete strangers with tales of their daring-do.
Maybe I'll pick up a new hobby, like learning more about contemporary art. Especially art that involves living rooms of the 1970s.
Or maybe finally learning how to cook a decent meal. Especially meals that involve delicious and colorful 1970s cuisine. (Okay, I'll stop now).
Perhaps I'll adopt a new pet. And then let the dog, cat, and bull snake sort out which is alpha through blood sports. For entertainment. Instead of watching so much TV.
I resolve to call more people more often. Especially if the calls are toll free and involve a big yellow telephone.
I resolve to have some deep meaningful thoughts and write them down. But not here. This blog is strictly for my unintelligent ramblings on stupid crap that no one really cares about. Therefore, I resolve also to have a secret smarty blog.
And on that new secret blog I resolve to travel through time as much a possible. Or at least act more like Einstein.
Finally, I resolve to recommit myself to my solemn task of saving junk, lurking through thrift stores, and to keep bringing you guys the visual goods from my thrift store adventures.
Thanks for a great year, see you on the flipside!