TOTALLY INAPPROPRIATE TOY THEATER

Well, thrift store lovers, beings-as (a colloquialism from my Midwestern past) it's already 2009 and I haven't posted in a while, I just have to share two horrible toys I saw today.

Exhibit A: what can you really say about the ethnic and racial stereotypes and egregious cultural misconceptions that naked dolls in bags labeled "Indian Chief" and "Indian Princess" toys perpetuate? Maybe the less said the better.

Exhibit B: Not sure if this is worse, but it's pretty awful. Awful funny, that is.

Now when I was a lad "water worm" had a totally different meaning. I'm wholly sure the toy company isn't intentionally going down that path.

Then again what else could "Squirts up to 25 feet" and "Continuous stream" imply?

And what of "No pumping required?" Uh, at least the box art clearly doesn't really look like a, ah, you lad's worm... they wouldn't go that far.

Oh. Okay. Imagine that illustration outside of its context. Like a health ed textbook. Even in this context, "Tail will squirt water indicating when worm is full" is pretty hard to read in any other way.

By the way, for all the boys and men out there, I think that your doctor would agree that the advice "Do not overfill worm!!!" is quite intelligent, especially if you want to avoid any prostate issues in your later years. So my father tells me. When we talk about water worms. Which is not very often.

Okay, okay. This is a family website. I'm not a prude, but I don't think it's my job to teach young boys (with apparently fat, fleshy palms) how to shoot water out of their worms. And if you don't know that you need to "hold neck firmly and pull worm head back" to squirt it up to 25 feet well you're really coming to the wrong internet site. Seriously, there's a WHOLE world of water worms out there that would make your head spin.

Gross I know but I felt like sharing. Happy new year? :{